Entitlement Issues

We all have issues. Employees have issues with their jobs, kids have issues with their parents, and most small intestines have issues with Chinese food. I for one have issues with just about every other thing you can think of. I have many issues, because let’s face it, there’s a lot of stupid shit out there that shouldn’t exist/occur/happen to me. One thing I have major issues with are other people’s issues.

Issues creating more issues? What a crazy concept! But not really . . .

You see, when you add issues you get more issues. When you multiply issues you get more issues. When you divide issues you get less issues but I’m not really sure how you would divide issues so that doesn’t count nor contribute to my point anyway. Its simple math and any third grader sufficient at his times tables can understand that other people’s issues piss me off.

This past weekend I was rudely bombarded by somebody else’s issue. Their issue – an entitlement issue.

This issue hit me like a ton of petrified dog shit while I was hanging out at this establishment called the “Pink Pony." What kind of establishment was this, you ask? Just look at the subtlety of the name. If you’re not a fan of subtlety then I suggest you read more and edumacate yourself. I like subtlety. It’s like a smart guy’s puzzle that makes you smarter and feel better than others. But I digress . . .

There I was at the “Pink Pony” enjoying myself when I felt the urge to enjoy myself more, so, naturally I ordered another round of drinks. The waitress served us our drinks and I paid in full and tipped like any good patron would. As opposed to smiling and saying, “thank you,” and then going on her merry way, this bitch decided to stay, shoot me a look meaner than anything I could ever come up with, and give me shit about how much I tipped her.

Now, I hardly ever tip over the standard 15% or $1 per drink, however I never short change someone even if their service is mediocre either. This wench felt entitled to a larger tip and had the nerve to bitch at a paying customer. Her entitlement issue pretty much killed my buzz and created a festering sense of anger that still lingers as I write this.

Who the fuck did this waitress think she was to demand a larger tip? Don’t they call it gratuity for a reason? She was probably showered with gifts a few days prior on Valentine’s Day – gifts she fully expected – and here she was just a couple days later giving me attitude because she felt my tip was not substantial enough. Fuck you, bitch! Who the fuck are you to demand a larger tip? Valentine’s Day – the very bane of my existence – is a day for entitlement, the weekend while I’m trying to unwind from a rough week at work is not. Man, Valentine’s Day is a crock of shit. But I digress again . . .

While my rage boiled over and I tried to find some logic behind this bitch’s actions, it all started to make sense to me. This waitress, like many other individuals, was not beaten as a child. I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t logical at all. But it is. Let me explain.

When you beat your kids the only thing they will ever feel entitled to is a beating because that’s what’s realist to them. Beatings are a bad thing to a child and they will, in time due to their frequency, learn to expect them all the time. When the only thing you feel entitled to is something bad, you learn to fear all that you are entitled to. So, to make the bad feelings go away you learn to feel entitled to nothing. Entitlement is essentially beaten out of the kids.

If you’re still not following me let me break it down into algorithm form:

Kids are entitled to beatings
Beatings are bad
Feeling entitled to anything is bad
Kids don’t like feeling bad
Kids don’t like feeling entitled to anything

There’s your logic. Once again, I am a genius.

Now, to my main point: Everyone is going to have issues but we need to make sure that the sense of entitlement is not one of them. Nobody wants a snooty ass server or bar tender that is going to ruin you’re good time because they feel entitled to something out of you. There’s enough shit out there to bug us already. Accept your tip and spit in the next drink if you’re so pissed off about your tip. There’s subtler ways to get back at someone than to be an outright bitch.

Parents, do society a favor. Beat your kids. Beat the sense of entitlement right out of them and maybe one day, we will live in a world where Valentine’s Day is only a fleeting memory. Did I digress again . . . ?